Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
