I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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