I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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