I hate all girls vehemently.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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