He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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