Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
