He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize