Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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