My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
