You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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