I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
