bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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