So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
