Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
