We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You ate ashes out of my bong
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
