He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize