What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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