I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
