Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
