You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
