okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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