She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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