You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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