I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
