69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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