my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize