can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
