You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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