if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
