She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
