I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
