The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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