i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
