Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
