Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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