wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My breasts were aching with rage.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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