4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
