dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
