She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
