You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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