they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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