I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
