tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
