fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
