i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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