Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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