i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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