New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just high enough for therapy.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
