hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
