It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
