idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
