one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize