How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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