Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
