Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I got inside last night via doggy door
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize