Do vagina's smell?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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