I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
