you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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