so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
