Me. At least after what I've been through.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
